The Next Day Revealed A Truth...
I woke up that next day thinking, “Am I ever going to see Tomoko again? Was I lucky enough to have the woman of my dreams walk right into my life?” It was probably only a dream that was stuck in my head, but it was quickly becoming an obsessive one.
I walked around the farm with the biggest joint hanging from my lips, looking for someplace to hide my bad habit of smoking pot. I was thinking that this might be my last chance to really be happy. A chilly feeling came over me like I never felt before. It wasn’t the joint that I was smoking, I’ll tell you that. It was something different, I just couldn’t explain it in words. Like some kind of omen.
That Sunday day went on like eternity, it felt so much like an empty world in front of my eyes. I decided to drive up to the liquor store and grab a few beers. As I was driving, I thought I would drive by the farm she was staying at, to see if she was outside. Maybe she would be going for a walk or something, and I could accidentally bump into her again.
This wasn’t the case. She wasn’t outside or anything, but I did stop on the side of the road and walk up to the house to look in the windows. I wanted to check if there was some kind of movement inside. Nope, nothing Nada. I felt kind of like a stalker or peeping Tom
standing outside the window peaking in like a pervert. I went up to the beer store and grabbed a 12-pack of my favourite Mexican beer like I did every day. When I got home the first thing I did was to make a fire in the living room, my most relaxing place in the house during the wintertime.
There is something about a fire that makes me relax and helps my mind go blank. I thought of nothing, only the flames as they danced in front of my eyes and I drank beer after beer, and smoked joints until I had no feelings at all, only pure numbness permeated my mind. But still, the feelings and images of her were swirling around in my head. It seemed that no amount
of beer or joints could dissolve thoughts of her.
My mother had said that the girl who came over wasn’t very happy living at the horse farm. I didn’t even hear what the complaints were about, all I thought was OK, let’s figure out how to get her to come and stay at our farm. Mom had barely finished speaking when I said “She should come and stay here then.” My mind was screaming “Yes! My dreams are going to come true.” This doesn’t usually happen to me, my dreams never used to come true. But I had a feeling that this was going to be an exception.
I thought “This is almost too good to be true. Nothing this good ever happens to me.” Well, a few days went by waiting for the international Japanese organization to have a discussion about whether it was OK for two Japanese girls to live in the same house together. They were concerned because the rules that were put into place, were there to ensure that the students were going to practice their English.
My inner tiger lashed out and I said to my mother, “What rules? There isn’t any rule for this is there? If this is a rule then that is so stupid. Who cares if there are two Japanese girls in one household?” I was pissed off, and I was ready to go to war over this. Nobody stupid committee was going to deprive me of my dream.
Waiting for the decision was driving me crazy. I paced like a caged animal until one day a decision was made. They were going to make an exception in Tomoko’s case and let her stay. “YES, YES,” I said pumping my fist in the air. Now I was pacing for a different reason. I couldn’t wait to see her face again, I felt a tickle all over my body and especially in a place that hadn’t gotten a lot of attention over the past year.
I thought to myself as I was waiting for the day, “She’s coming. How am I going to act or what am going to do when she gets here? Am I going to be myself and just live the way I have been living all my life?” Then I thought, “What are you talking about? Are you insane? You do that and she’s going to run away as fast as she got here. You’d better be a gentleman to her.”
So many thoughts went through my mind that day thinking of how to be a gentleman, instead of just being one. I tell you, she didn’t even know who I was yet. I was just imagining everything in my head, making up scenarios and building on them. I talked a big talk in my head, but I had only met her one time and I was getting too much ahead of myself. I had to reign in my inner urges or lose her before she ever became mine.
Look forward to reading chapter 4 coming soon...