The Courage To Be Sober Chapter 1
I Started Drinking At Three Years Old
As life began for me, so was my drinking which wasn’t far behind, at the age of three years old I had taken my first drink of the holy wine. I remember it like it was yesterday, my mother enjoyed a glass or two of wine on certain occasions and I was like the family pet waiting for the crumbs to drop off the table but this wasn’t food I was enjoying it was the yummy wine from the flower of dandelions, the most wonderful tasting wine I have ever tasted because it was the only wine my parents made. I couldn’t understand why I enjoyed this flavour from the juices of nature, but something was so delicious about the feeling that the wine had given me.
Nobody was the wiser about what I was doing, as if the world never knew, for this was the beginning of a long road to an addiction that carried forth for many years. I couldn’t stop this feeling that the wine gave me. I never understood the true reason why I wanted to drink until later in my life. I will tell you from the days of the 1970s the world through my eyes was covered with a dark haze that clouded my thoughts, that always moved me into never-never
land. I felt like a cartoon character from the bugs bunny show when my mind was filled with alcohol.
If you can imagine when you may have been watching cartoons back in the day, they were much different than the animation we have now out in the world wide web today. All the cartoons I watched had bugs bunny being chased down by so many characters like the hunter Elmer Fudd that always said it’s rabbit season or Yosemite Sam that said I hate that rabbit and my favourite Tasmanian Devil that never spoke but wanted to eat Bugs Bunny in every episode that they were in together. Yes, we always cheered for Bugs every time. I always wonder why they were hunting or trying to eat him, I was maybe three years old when I first watched this cartoon. I had so many influences throughout my life, but I remember this the most. My mind was shaped by what I had seen and heard on the TV screen. I believe that my mind was altered in such a warped way.
I now know why the world seems to be so cold and dark and screwed up. I am not blaming the TV for my life and all that I have done to hurt people but what we see and hear shapes who we are in our adult life.
I believe that we as individuals need to take 100% responsibility for our actions in life. I do understand that now, but when I was a wee little one I wasn’t taught how to take responsibility.
I always looked at what I did, as someone else's fault. Who did I see in my life that was showing me the ways of the world and how to treat people, well my parents, but they only knew what they were taught by their parents and so on down the line. By blaming them for my life now, it is absolutely crazy. I created my life, I picked my parents, they didn’t pick me. If I understood correctly we have thoughts, and feelings and create our outcomings in life. By blaming the cartoons I watched, means I didn’t take responsibility for my life as a child. I didn’t know how to see the world in a different way until I started to see myself first. This isn’t why I started drinking alcohol but this is why I now look at my life with an open heart.
“I am Stefan Oskar Neff and I am on a mission to help people help themselves find solutions to create clear clarity surrounding drug and alcohol addictions that may be stopping people from living the life that they always wanted and dreamed of towards the future they desire”. This all starts with our children and how they see the world. We as a human race have a right to live a meaningful life without roadblocks stopping our children from living a life of joy and happiness. By seeing ourselves for who we want to be, is the truth of success in the world we live in today. What the future holds is up to us…