Stefan Neff
The Courage To Be Sober Chapter 18
How I Dealt With My Thoughts And Feelings

Many of my thoughts and feelings had overtaken my brain every day when I was growing up. I always had situations whereby I wanted to receive heavy negative vibrations from others. This was my order from the universe, I wanted to feel these feelings. You may be asking yourself what the heck are you talking about, I didn’t want to receive negative vibrations from others in my life.
Well, here is the thing, we are creatures of thoughts, feelings and action. What we think we say is what we want to receive on a daily basis. We are influenced by who we hang around with. Yes, that means our family and friends who we had picked. You may think, I didn’t pick my parents well, I am telling you that yes, we did pick our parents and this is why I believe so.
When we were a little sperm swimming towards the egg of your mother we had fought our way towards the promised land, meaning conception of birth, we picked that path to be born with such vigorous force, we wanted to be born into this world. We choose who we hang around with, we choose what influence we want to receive on a daily basis. So all the feeling we get is something we want so we can feel the way we want in life without a doubt well, this is my opinion and I believe it to be so.
I have come to realize that all my thoughts have been produced of my own doing from when I was a small child. Yes, this might be a bit mind-blowing but it is the truth. There is a formula that I use every day and that is I+T+F+A=R this means Influence + Thoughts + Feelings + Action = Our Results In Life.
I have often been in situations whereby I have been upset with the results of my interaction with the people I surrounded myself with.
Someone would say something to me and I would get upset or mad at what was said. I allowed myself to get mad and or upset. This was my choice to receive these thoughts, and feelings and then react with action toward that person or I would change my facial expressions to match how I was feeling at that moment. The result was I would doubt myself or even get depressed.
I wasn’t in control of my happiness. I allowed others to dictate how I was feeling at any given time. This was my pattern in life, I would receive these moments on a weekly and even a daily basis. I now believe that I wanted to receive these results and this is why! The universe was showing me what I was avoiding, I needed to feel like a little scared child in the playground of life.
I was forty-five years old looking at life through rose-covered, glasses wondering when I was going to be happy, was my life just going to be a bed of nails or was it going to be filled with a jar full of tasty honey? I was the master of my own life path.
The Steps I Took Towards My Influences In Life
1. I picked my friends with who I wanted to hang out with
2. I learn how to create a positive attitude toward my life
3. I cut out my negative influences from my life
4. I created a link from my head to my heart
5. I was in control of my thoughts and feelings
6. I shaped my actions toward what I wanted in life
7. I was the master of my results in my life
