The Courage To Be Sober Chapter 31
I Couldn’t Stand It Any More
Have you ever been at the boiling point in your life whereby you look at your life and say NO MORE? Well, that was my life in a nutshell about four years ago when I looked at my life and asked myself what the f@@k was I thinking all those years of drinking and smoking pot.
What a waste of time I thought to myself. I got to a point when my life was being run by my addictions and was really driving me crazy! I would walk down the street looking for excuses to fall into the mindset of others. I would ask why are those people arguing with each other or why are they being so mean to their kids.
I just wanted to complain about what the world was doing and not see who I was. I would analyze how I was feeling but all the while being in judgment of others for what I saw. I was in denial of my own life never really wanting to see the truth. I had the tools to face my life but wouldn't take significant steps towards my own well-being at that time.
How dare I judge others before taking care of my life first. I found it easy to look at other people’s problems and then try to fix them. What was I doing, you may ask well, I was in this mindset of never really seeing what was most important in my life until I stopped analyzing life as being in this process of healing. Yes, it was good to heal but it never got resolved within my core being of who I was. I could take it to the next level but the truth was I didn’t know how to see the inner pain that I had. I had to drop this protective bubble that was up around me. I didn’t want to be vulnerable to being attacked well, I only imagined these thoughts, feelings and beliefs in my head.
These were irrational beliefs that I was created to protect myself. Yes, self-protection was
my main tool at that time to run away from fear in my mind. My thoughts were dictating my actions and soon after was the result that occurred immediately after, it was like clockwork without fail. The seamless operation of my inner dialogue was perfect for what I wanted in my life.
The universe had revealed the truth to me without any explanation of course but the universe doesn’t need an explanation of what we receive in our life. The universe is like an open door to the freedoms of life. What we think, say, and believe are energy pathways to the unknown understandings of the universe. I can say with 100% confidence that we create our reality on a daily basis.
We don’t have a choice about what we receive from the universe, only what we do in life. When I understood that I created my reality in life, I knew that I could create a much better life than I was creating in my past. The universe is still shipping what I did in the past until I release all my past pains and issues that I had.
What Did I Release From My Life That I Couldn’t Stand
1. I let go of my past beliefs about life
2. I took a new stance on life
3. I filled my life with joy on a daily basis
4. I accepted what the universe shipped me
5. I took 100% accountability for my past thoughts and feelings and beliefs
6. I stopped blaming my past
7. I looked at life with an open heart
8. I used positive affirmations on a daily basis
9. I took action in my life every single day