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  • Writer's pictureStefan Neff

The Courage To Be Sober Chapter 37

How I Learned To Love Again By Getting Rid Of My Unwanted Baggage

What does love mean to me after I released my addictions?


I can say with certainty I have found true love within my soul. I was holding onto so much

baggage in my life. I can tell you that my life was so mixed up with thoughts about my lack of love in my life. If you ever have travelled with baggage well, my pain was like I was carrying around big rocks in my bag. I was walking around like this every single day.


My back was starting to hurt as if it was literally carrying the world on my shoulders. I didn’t want to believe that I was lugging all this unwanted heavy weight on my back. It was like someone was adding this weight without me even knowing. I was blinded by the truth. No

way I was doing this to myself, I couldn’t understand, I didn’t want to understand.


I ask myself do people love me or are they just being nice to me because they are afraid to see me fail as a human being. All these thoughts were barrelling and swirling around in my brain. Until I started to see why I was thinking this way and why I was stuck in this trap that I made for myself. I learned this process called “Who Cares What Other People Think About Me” I knew it was possible until I started to love myself.


Creating Unconditional-Self- Acceptance was the fastest way I knew how to love my

inner child. As a young child, I was so hard on myself, never really accepting my failures. Today I use failure as a launching pad to success. The more I fail the fast towards success I can create in my life. Same with love, the more I accept love in my own heart the more I can receive love from the universe and the people in my life. I was using my addictions as a form of running away from love instead I released the notion that my addictions are helping me.


I told myself that love starts within, not from outside sources. I look in the mirror every day

and see the man whom I love deeply like no other on this planet. Who cares what other people think of me and what crazy things I may do in my life. For example, I can wear a pink suit or do outrageous things and I don’t need approval from anyone.


I just do what my heart desires on any given day as long as I am not hurting anyone. Because if I am hurting other people I am stealing energy from the people whom I am hurting. The universe knows that I am stealing energy from others.


Do what makes me happy no matter what. If you are doing for others before yourself then you may want to look at what is your purpose for doing so. I started to use a process called Unconditional Acceptance of others to really create a long everlasting purpose of loving the world around me. All these processes help me sort out my inner thoughts and beliefs and behaviours surrounding my addictions.


How Do You Sort Out Your Inner Pains?

1. Ask yourself what is bothering me in my

life?_____________________________________

2. What can you do to change your

thoughts?________________________________

3. What can do to change my

behaviours?______________________________

4. Ask yourself, what is my purpose in

life?_____________________________________

5. Ask yourself, why am I here on this

planet?___________________________________

6. What irrational beliefs about yourself are stopping you from pure

happiness?_______________________________

7. How can you let go of your past

failures?__________________________________

8. Ask yourself on what date am I going to change the way I feel and think

about the world around me?_____________________________________

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